I was born in Tagaste, a small town in North Africa, in the year 354, under a sky that seemed to stretch endlessly over the dusty roads and olive groves of Numidia. My name is Augustine, and my life, as I look back upon it, is a tapestry woven with threads of restless searching, divine grace, and an unyielding love for the Catholic Church, which became the anchor of my soul.
Let me share my story—not as a boast, but as a testimony to the mercy that pursued me and the Church that embraced me, teaching me how to internalize its truths and invite others to do the same.
My early years were marked by a hunger for truth, but I sought it in all the wrong places. My mother, Monica, a woman of unshakeable faith, planted seeds of the Gospel in my heart, but I was a wayward son. I chased the fleeting pleasures of the world—philosophy, rhetoric, and the allure of Manichaeism, a sect that promised answers but delivered only shadows. I was a young man of fiery passions, restless and dissatisfied, yet I could not escape the prayers of my mother, who wept for my soul as if I were already lost. Her tears were a silent sermon, preaching the love of a Church that waits patiently for its prodigals.
In my twenties, I taught rhetoric in Carthage, then Rome, and finally Milan. I was a man of words, crafting arguments to win applause, but my heart was a battlefield. The philosophies of the world—Plato, Cicero, the Manichees—offered me fragments of truth, but they were like broken mirrors, reflecting only distorted images of the divine. I was restless, as if my soul knew it was made for something greater. It was in Milan that I met Ambrose, the bishop whose eloquence and holiness pierced my defenses. He did not argue with me as a philosopher might; he lived the faith with such conviction that I could not dismiss it. His sermons in the cathedral were not mere words—they were windows into the eternal, showing me the beauty of the Catholic Church, a mother who gathers her children with truth and love.
One day, in a garden in Milan, my heart broke open. I was thirty-two, tormented by my sins and my inability to surrender to God. I heard a child’s voice chanting, “Take up and read, take up and read.” I opened the Scriptures to Paul’s letter to the Romans: “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh.” In that moment, the chains of doubt and desire fell away. I wept, not from sorrow, but from the joy of being found. The Catholic Church, through its Scriptures, its sacraments, and its saints like Ambrose, had led me to the Truth Himself. I was baptized, and my mother, who had followed me across seas, rejoiced to see her prayers answered. The Church became my home, a place where my restless heart found rest in God.
But how does one internalize this love for the Church, this bride of Christ who is both human and divine? I learned it through living it, through immersing myself in her life. The Church is not a museum of perfect people; it is a hospital for sinners, where the Eucharist binds us to Christ and to one another. I began to see the Mass as the heartbeat of the Church, where heaven touches earth. In the breaking of the bread, I found Christ’s presence, not as a concept, but as a reality that transformed me. I internalized this love by praying with the Church—her psalms, her liturgy, her seasons of Advent and Lent, which taught me to walk with Christ through joy and sorrow. The Church’s teachings, rooted in Scripture and Tradition, became my compass, guiding me through the storms of doubt.
To love the Church is to love her people, flawed though they be. I saw this in my own life—my mother’s perseverance, Ambrose’s wisdom, the quiet faith of the poor who filled the basilicas. The Church is a family, and like any family, it has its struggles. Yet, in her sacraments, I found grace to forgive and be forgiven. In her teachings, I found truth to anchor my soul. I learned to internalize this love by serving others, by teaching the faith as a bishop in Hippo, where I preached not to impress, but to invite others into the same joy I had found.
How, then, do we teach others to accept this love in their lives? Not by force or argument alone, but by living the faith with such radiance that others are drawn to it. I recall a young man who came to me in Hippo, skeptical of the Church, wounded by the hypocrisy he had seen. I did not debate him; I listened, I prayed with him, and I shared my own story of wandering and return. I invited him to Mass, not to convince him, but to let him see the Church at worship, where the poor and the powerful kneel together before the same Lord. Over time, his heart softened, not because I was persuasive, but because the Church’s beauty spoke for itself.
To teach others to accept the Church, we must show them her heart—Christ Himself. We do this by living with integrity, by loving sacrificially, by being unafraid to admit our own need for mercy. The Church is not a fortress to keep others out, but a city on a hill, shining with the light of Christ. When we forgive as Christ forgives, when we serve as He serves, we become living invitations to the faith. I learned this as a bishop, preaching to my flock, writing my confessions not to glorify myself, but to show how God’s grace works through a sinner’s life.
My life, now drawing toward its close, is a testament to the Church’s enduring love. I have seen her stand firm through persecutions, heresies, and the fall of empires. She is not perfect, for she is made of human hearts, but she is holy, for she is Christ’s. To internalize her love is to live her life—her prayers, her sacraments, her mission. To teach others to accept her is to show them Christ in us, through our words, our deeds, and our love.
As I write these words in Hippo, with the Vandals at the gates, I am at peace. The Church that welcomed me, a prodigal, will endure beyond my days. She is the ark that carries souls to God, the mother who never gives up on her children. My heart, once restless, now rests in her, and through her, in Him who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. May you, too, find this love, live it deeply, and share it boldly, for the glory of God and the salvation of souls.
Jérémie M. Tshibakenga
